Osaka's Quest for Pigtails
by AddleBoy
Summary: Osaka makes an amazing discovery about the truth behind Chiyo's pigtails. Ch 2 is up!
1. Chapter 1: The Pigtails

**Osaka's Quest for Pigtails**

**Summary: _Osaka makes an amazing discovery about the truth behind Chiyo's pigtails._**

**Chapter 1: The Pigtails**

* * *

_pigtails..._

There they were, bouncing around right in front of her face. Up and down, back and forth, in and out, left and right, side to side. In diagonals, zig-zags, and swirls around and around and around! Osaka couldn't speak pigtail very well, but she was very sure that they were laughing at her, taunting her. They had the audacity to 'hahaha' right in front of her face!

_Pigtails..._

They were not only just laughing at her, they were making fun of her too. They were controlling her best friend right in front of her.

'Chiyo! Left-face!' Righty commanded.

(Osaka decided to take the time to name both of the pigtails. The left pigtail was named Righty and the right pigtail was named Lefty. Don't ask me for the reasoning, it's Osaka we're talking about here.)

Chiyo did as she was told and left-faced in a military manner.

'Chiyo! Ten back flips, now!' Lefty commanded.

Amazingly, Chiyo successfully did ten back flips.

'Chiyo! Bark like a dog!' came a double command by both pigtails.

'Arf! Arf!' Chiyo barked in a remarkably cute voice with her tung sticking out of her mouth and her pigtails flapping up and down like dog's ears.

'Good girl!' they cooed. 'HAAHAHAHAHA!!' they laughed, obviously enjoying every minute of it.

_Pigtails!_

'Stop it! Stop controlling my friend!' Osaka ordered the two culprits.

'What are you going to do about it?!' Lefty questioned.

'Yeah! You can't do anything!' Righty agreed.

'Chiyo! Punch yourself in the face!' came another command from Lefty.

WHAM!!

And to Osaka's horror, Chiyo completed the task she was given without hesitation. She planted her tiny fist directly in the middle of her face at full force. When Chiyo removed her hand, she was wearing that same happy-as-can-be smile on her face. Only now, she had a big bruise and there was blood trickling down her right nostril.

'Ouch..' Chiyo said with an undeniably cheerful smile on her face.

'Ahahahaa! Do it again! Do it again!' Righty ordered.

Chiyo then began to repeat the action again

WHAM!

and again...

WHAM!

and again...

WHAM!

and again...

WHAM!

and again...

WHAM!

and again...

_The Pigtails!_

'NO! Stop hurting Chiyo-chan!' Osaka exclaimed, watching her friend in terror.

'Ehehehe... What are you talking about? Can't you see how much Chiyo loves doing this?' Lefty reasoned.

WHAM!

'Ouch... tee hee,' giggled Chiyo, as another trail of blood trickled down her other nostril. Her smile stayed the same as if nothing were happening.

'That's not true! She hates it and you know it!' Osaka accused. She knew that even though she had a smile on her face, Chiyo was resenting every minute of her treatment. Frankly, the pigtails know that as well. It was just that they were having such a fun time watching Osaka's reactions, that they simply did not care.

'Oh, man, this is awesome! Let's try some other stuff!' Righty suggested.

'Chiyo! Bonk yourself on the head!'

BONK!

'Slap your face!'

SMACK!

'Kick your shin!'

THUD!

'Poke your eyes!'

SPLOPE! (?)

'Kick your stomach!'

POW!

BIFF!

CLUNCK!

SPLATTER!

SLICE!

KA-POW!

KA-BANG!

BOOM!

It was too much for Osaka to handle. She had to stop them and save Chiyo before it was too late! Osaka lost all control and composure and finally lashed out against the villains.

* * *

"THE PIGTAILS!!!!!!" Osaka suddenly yelled and tackled Chiyo to the ground trying to effectively remove Chiyo's pigtails.

"Ow! Hey! Osaka-san, what are you doing?!" Chiyo asked as she resisted Osaka's pigtail removal.

"Stop wigglin' around Chiyo-chan! I'm tryin' to save you from them evil pigtails!" Osaka explained as she continued to pull the pigtails. The plan wasn't going exactly as, well... planned, though it wasn't much of a plan to begin with. Operation: Pull Chiyo's Pigtails Off was failing. No matter how much Osaka pulled, they just wouldn't come off! So, Osaka did the one thing anyone would do in her situation: she pulled harder.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" exclaimed Chiyo in complete pain and confusion.

The other girls – who were just recently in conversation – were taken completely off guard by Osaka's spontaneous actions. Sure, they heard Osaka muttering 'pigtails' to herself over and over again, but they decided to just ignore it, since it was Osaka and all. Regaining her senses, Kagura took the initiative in pulling Osaka away from Chiyo – who obviously didn't expect her friend to attack her like that. Still struggling, Osaka was dragged away from Chiyo by Kagura.

"Osaka! What the heck were you doing?!" demanded Kagura.

"I'm tryin' to free Chiyo-chan from them evil pigtails!" Osaka explained, still being held back by Kagura.

"Evil... pigtails?" Chiyo asked obviously not understanding a word Osaka was saying.

"That's right! Them pigtails are tryin' to take over Chiyo-chan's mind and hurt her." Osaka said. Kagura let go of Osaka, seeing as how she was starting to calm down.

"Frankly, Osaka, you were the only one hurting Chiyo-chan," explained Yomi as looked over to the still confused Chiyo who was being helped off of the ground by Sakaki.

"No! I was tryin' to save her!" Osaka exclaimed to Yomi, then looked over to Chiyo. "You've gotta take'em off before they do somethin' really bad."

Chiyo just stared back a Osaka, very confused.

"Hey, Osaka. So, the pigtails are supposed to be aliens or something?" Tomo decided to ask.

"Exactly!" Osaka exclaimed.

"What? Did you forget to take your medication today or something?" Tomo mocked.

Obviously confused by Tomo's sudden comment, Osaka remained silent.

Tomo, in an attempt to rationalize the situation (which is very out of character for her), walked over to the now standing Chiyo and undid her pigtails. Chiyo's hair then fell down to her shoulders.

"See, they're gone now," Tomo said breaking out in laughter because she knew that Osaka never thought about doing that.

"No, wait! That won't help, cuz Chiyo-chan'll just go and put 'er hair back into pigtails," Osaka argued.

Chiyo did just that.

"And what's wrong with having pigtails?" Chiyo asked, still not understanding a word Osaka was saying.

"CUZ THEY'RE TAKIN OVER YOUR MIND!!!" Osaka exclaimed.

"Don't worry, Chiyo-chan. It's Osaka we're talking to here. Just ignore her and don't take anything she says seriously," Yomi reasoned.

"_Yeah. Just quit while you're ahead," Righty said._

"_That's right! Nobody's gonna believe you anyways," Lefty agreed._

It took Osaka aback for a second when the pigtails finally decided to talk, but to her dismay, her friends didn't even seem to notice.

"It's them! Don't ya hear'em?!" Osaka asked in an almost pleading voice.

"Hear who?" Sakaki asked.

"Them!" Osaka exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Chiyo's head. "The pigtails. The ones taking over Chiyo-chan's mind!"

"What are you, crazy? This is really starting to get old," said Kagura.

"C'mon! Let's go home already!" Tomo said impatiently.

And with that, the all the girls, except Osaka, started to make their way out of the nearly empty classroom. Osaka could only stare at their backs as they left, not being able to comprehend the disbelief her friends had in her.

"_You'd better get used to us, runt," said Righty._

"_Cuz we're gonna be here for a very long time," Lefty added._

_The pigtails laughed harshly at Osaka as Chiyo left the classroom._

"Don't worry, Chiyo-chan. Someday, I'll save ya from them evil things, even if it's the last thing I do!" Osaka swore to herself.

Little did she know, that 'someday' was just around the corner.

(Chapter One End)

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**Author's Notes: I have no idea what I was thinking when I decided to write this. It is actually based off of an original story I was thinking about writing, that was a whole lot more serious than this is. Anyway, in the next chapter, Osaka makes an amazing discovery. Chapter 2: Osaka and the Chiyo-ites. Stay tuned!**

**P.S: I have no idea what getting poked in the eye sounds like.**


	2. Chapter 2: Osaka and the Chiyoites, 1

**Osaka's Quest for Pigtails**

**Author's Notes: Sorry this took so long. I've been busy with college and everything. I've decided to split this chapter into two parts because if I just waited to finish the whole chapter, this wouldn't have been finished anytime soon. I've also included some replies to the reviews of the first chapter at the end of the story. And now, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Azumanga Daioh! Azuma's, not mine.**

**Summary: _Osaka makes an amazing discovery._**

**Chapter 2: Osaka and the Chiyo-ites, Part 1**

* * *

The horizon started turning a purplish-orange color as night began conquering the sky. The group of girls were now on their way to their respective homes. They stayed late after school because they had cleaning duty. And, of course, the only ones who ever did a proper job of cleaning were Sakaki, Yomi, and Chiyo, so the task took longer than needed; especially after the pigtail incident.

Now that they were on their way, the whole group was sprinkled in light conversation. Tomo and Yomi were bickering back and forth between each other with Chiyo trying but failing to get them to stop fighting. Kagura and Sakaki were talking between themselves, or at least Kagura was talking and Sakaki was listening. Osaka, on the other hand, was deathly silent.

Osaka dragged her feet across the pavement as she trudged behind her group of chattering friends. She stared down intently at the ground as she walked in deep thought. Ever since she left the school, there was only one thing on her mind:

"Pigtails...," Osaka muttered to herself.

That's right! She still had to find a way to save Chiyo-chan. There had to be some way, anyway to save Chiyo! But, she could not think of anything at all, and all of the thinking was starting to make her head hurt. She was thinkings so much on this topic that it seemed as though 'pigtails' became the only word in her vocabulary.

"Osaka-san, do you want to come over to my house to study tomorrow?" Chiyo cheerfully asked.

"Pigtails...," Osaka answered.

"It'll be lots of fun!"

"Pigtails..."

"Can you come over tomorrow?"

"Pigtails..."

"What's the meaning of existence?"

"Pigtails..."

"What is the power of cheese?"

"Pigtails..."

"If aliens were to take over the world, what type of aliens would they be?"

"Pigtails..."

"If I put a hamster into a microwave and sprinkled it with cheese, what would it turn into?"

"Stop asking strange questions!" Yomi scolded as she karate-chopped Tomo on the head, and before Osaka could respond.

"Ow... alright, alright..." Tomo muttered as she rubbed her head.

The group's walk home was starting to come to a close. The first to leave were Yomi and Tomo, since they both lived in the same neighborhood. Next was Kagura, who left by herself. The remaining three girls now stood in front of the Mihama residence. Sakaki stayed with Chiyo because she wanted to join her and Tadakichi-san on their daily after-school walk. Sakaki and Chiyo stood in front of the mansion's gates as they watched Osaka walk off in the direction of her house.

"Good bye, Osaka-san! See you tomorrow!" Chiyo called out to her.

"Pigtails..." Osaka called back monotonously without looking back. Her eyes were still focused on the ground.

Chiyo faltered a little. She could not help but worry about her friend. 'I hope nothing bad happens to her...' Chiyo thought to herself.

Osaka was now just a couple of blocks away from her home. Even though it was dark out, the city was still as busy as ever. Osaka continued her journey down the sidewalk and came towards a busy intersection. A group of people stood at the end of the sidewalk, waiting for their chance to 'walk'. Osaka, who was still staring at the ground and had all of her concentration focused on pigtails thus oblivious to her surroundings, made her way through the crowd of people and started to cross the intersection.

Who was this courageous girl to defy the dreaded 'don't walk' that governed the traffic of people? The crowd of people standing at the end of the sidewalk called out to the crazy j-walker in order to stop her madness, but ,alas, they were too late...

BEEP! BEEEEEP!!!

SCREEEEECH!

WHAM!

CRASH!

SPLATTER!

KA-PLAT!

... and then everything went black...

* * *

Osaka felt a soft breeze flow across her entire body. It felt nice... As she slowly opened her eyes, the first sight she was greeted with was a sea of stars, ever-changing, twinkling below her.

"Pretty...," she mused.

Her eyes slowly shifted down to her feet, and that was when reality finally slapped her.

"OH MAH GAWD! I'M FLYIN'!"

In reality, the sea of stars that she had previously witnessed was in fact the bustling scape of nighttime Tokyo. Osaka was somehow floating above the great city.

"Whoa, I didn't know I could fly," she said to herself. She then began the process of flapping her arms up and down frantically as if they were bird's wings. If she was going to fly, she might as well do it the right way, so she would not end up falling. But, it was really tiring. 'I don't know how birds can do this for so long,' she thought to herself.

"Please stop moving around so much. I might drop you!" a voice called out.

Osaka stopped her movements and looked around for the origin of the voice, but could not find one. That could only mean one thing: "Is that you God? So, does that mean that I'm dead and I'm floatin' up ta heaven?" Osaka questioned.

"No, that's not right," the voice replied.

"So does that mean that ya think I'm a bad person, so ya taken' me ta Hell?!" Osaka asked before the voice could continue. "I ain't goin', and ya can't me!" Osaka cried out and began to squirm about frantically.

"Oh no! Please calm down!" the voice pleaded. "I'm not God. My name's Mia."

"If ya not God, then where are ya?" Osaka demanded.

"Look up," the voice simply replied.

That's right! She could have looked up to find the person speaking. Why hadn't that occurred to her sooner? It was so simple! Osaka peeled her gaze upward and a familiar figure came into view, holding Osaka by the collar of her school uniform. "Is that you, Chiyo-chan?"

"Not quite. Like I said before, I'm Mia," the girl corrected her.

It was true that Mia looked an awful lot like Chiyo, but there were some differences. For one, Mia was only about half as tall as Chiyo, though the girl's head was a little big in comparison to the rest of her body. Yet, there were also some things that were similar, like the two pigtails that seemed to be keeping both her and Osaka in the air, as they flapped up and down.

"Who are ya?" Osaka asked.

"I'm a Chiyo-ite."

"A Chiyo-ite? I've neva heard of that before. Where ya from?"

"There!" Mia pointed.

Osaka followed Mia's finger towards what seemed to be their destination. And there, floating in the middle of the sky was... a GIANT KOTATSU?!

(Chapter 2, Part 1 End)

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**Author's Notes: Be sure to stay tuned to read the next installment of Osaka's Quest for Pigtails: Osaka and the Chiyo-ites, Part 2.**

**Summary: _Now that Osaka has found the ancient city of the Chiyo-ites, what secrets will be revealed?_**

**And remember, comments are always welcome!**

**Okay, now on with the replies:**

**Anime Rebirth: Thanks for the complement! And I will keep that in mind. Takes out notepad Poke in eye YEOW sound. Okay, got it!**

**IcemanX: I recently realized that's it's utterly impossible for any normal human being to kick themselves in the stomach because your foot would go right over your shoulder lol. You can't even knee yourself in the stomach, cuz your knee would hit your chest. D: Thanks for replying!**

**EvilDux: lol I've done that before. About 'splope', as you can see, I was having too much fun using onomatopoeias. Thanks for the reply!**

**Relevant Advertisement: If you liked Osaka's quest for Pigtails, then you will love my next story, The Kotatsu staring Osaka!**

**Summary: _Osaka loves her kotatsu. Osaka needs her kotatsu. And anyone who gets in between Osaka and her kotatsu will surely face a gruesome end..._**

**Coming to a near you! Sometime in the future. **


	3. Osaka and the Chiyoites, Part 2

**Osaka's Quest for Pigtails:**

**Chapter 2: Osaka and the Chiyo-ites, Part 2**

* * *

**The story thus far:**

"A GIANT KOTATSU?!"

**And now...**

"A giant kotatsu?!" Osaka exclaimed as she viewed the unbelievable marvel in front of her.

Mia sighed deeply. "You've said that about three times already," she said as she and Osaka steadily moved toward the kotatsu.

"Whoa, a giant kotatsu. Must be nice...," Osaka mused. "But how do ya keep somethin' like a big o' kotatsu up in the air?"

"Actually, it's not really a kotatsu at all," Mia explained. "You see, the craft we Chiyo-ites use to traverse the universe is so technologically advanced that if a normal human were to witness it's real form, their brain would just not be able to comprehend it. And this would lead to the breakdown and annihilation of the human mind and psyche, which would be very bad! So, in order to solve this problem, we developed a technology that allows us to look into a human's mind and camouflage our ship as the one thing that makes that human the most comfortable. It's different depending on who it is. In your case: a kotatsu. Also, to the people below us, our ship looks like just another cloud in the sky. Tee hee." She looked down at Osaka to see if she understood.

Osaka only gave Mia a blank stare. "...wut?"

Mia sighed deeply once more. "Yes, Osaka-san, we live in a gigantic kotatsu floating in the sky."

A small grin grew on Osaka's face. "Oh, I thought that's what it was." Satisfied with her answer, Osaka stopped her questioning.

Osaka and Mia now reached their destination and they flew through a small crack in between the flaps of the kotatsu. As soon as they entered, a white flash of light encompassed Osaka's entire range of vision. After waiting for several minutes, the white flash did not disappear. That was when Osaka noticed that she was now standing in a completely white room. The size and shape of the room was impossible to determine because shadows did not exist inside of the room; not even the one that was supposed to be under Osaka's feet. It was as if every single atom inside the room emitted its own light.

That was not the only strange thing about the room. When Osaka looked down at her feet she realized that there wasn't a floor, but just a large empty white space. Actually, that was the best way to describe the room: a large empty white space. But, Osaka could swear she was standing on something...

"Where are we?" Osaka asked only just before she realized that she was talking to herself. Mia had suddenly disappeared when they entered they kotatsu, and now Osaka was the only person inside of the white room. "Mia-chan, where'd ya go off to?" Osaka asked the empty white space. She supposed that she could just walk in one direction until she hit a wall or something, but the room looked like it would never end, and for all she knew, she could end up walking 'till the end of time.

"Oh! There you are!" came a voice from behind Osaka.

"Ah!" exclaimed Osaka, obviously startled by the voice. It seemed to just come out of nowhere. But, Osaka calmed down once she realized that it was just Mia standing behind her. She could have sworn that Mia wasn't there a second ago. "Oh, it's you. Where'd ya come from? I don't see a door 'round here."

"That is because a physical door to enter this realm does not exist," Mia explained.

"Oh...," was Osaka's only reply. She did not exactly understand what Mia was saying. "So, where are we, anyway?"

"We are now inside of that big kotatsu that you saw earlier. Well,... sort of,"

"Really? It looks bigger on the inside than the outside, don't it?" Osaka mused as she looked around the white space. "And, not so much room for decoration, either... Say, if we're inside ya home, then where're all the other lil' midget aliens?"

Mia cringed a little at being indirectly called a 'midget alien', but decided to let it slide, for now. "I'm sorry, but all of the other Chiyo-ites are busy with their own duties right now, so I have been given the task of explaining the

situation to you. Now, please, have a seat." Mia said politely.

Looking around, Osaka could not find anything resembling a chair, or a seat, or anything solid to sit on in the white space. "There's nothing ta sit on."

"Please have a seat," Mia repeated; her expression unchanged.

Reluctantly, Osaka sat, and surprisingly enough, her butt came into contact with something solid like a chair, as her legs were still bent.

"Well, for the reasons I stated earlier, I'm not allowed to show you the actual interior of our craft. That is why this interface was created," Mia stated, referring to the white space around them. "This realm is connected to your subconscious, Osaka-san. To make it easier to understand, you could call it a holo-deck of sorts. It can recall different environments stored in memory and display them in this white space. So, before we begin our conversation, where do you want us to go? I doubt that you want to stay here in this white space. Most people find it more than a little disturbing. You can pick any place you want. So, what will it be?"

"Whoa... Anywhere I want, huh? Well I always wanted ta go ta Mars 'n catch me one of them lil' green men, then everyone'll believe me when I tell'em that the Martians are comin' ta take over the Earth."

"I'm sorry, but we can only go to places that you've been to before, and going to Mars would be a little too distracting for us to talk. Besides, the Martians are not green, and they are a peace loving people."

"Oh, really?" Osaka asked, sounding a little disappointed. "That's too bad..."

"This shouldn't be too hard, Osaka-san, because you already know where you want to go."

Osaka closed her eyes. That's right – she already knew where she wanted to go. There wasn't even any reason to think about it. By the time she opened her eyes, they were already there.

* * *

**Sorry for anyone who was actually waiting for this ( I'm really slow). I was planning to write the second chapter in just two parts, but now it's three... Hopefully, I'll get the third part out sometime this month. Thanks for the comments and reviews!**


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